“I thought it would be hot in here,” I told his secretary, ahem, executive assistance. “That’s what everybody thought, but no,” she replied. She is one of the most attractive women I have ever seen (if she is a person). Her full, pink, pouty lips are like beckoning me to kiss them. I remained standing in front of her desk, admiring her beautiful cleavage. She looked up to me and smiled. I immediately got a hard on. Not wanting her to think I am a maniac, I turned around, took a seat, and patiently waited for my name to be called. For a while, I forgot I was in the Devil’s office. Why is she being nice? Heck, why am I being nice? I could probably rip her clothes and do her on her desk without getting in trouble. I am in the Devil’s office – practically an extension of hell. I should be able to do all evil things that come to mind. Suddenly, the clock struck 3PM.

“David, come follow me,” ordered the secretary. I stood up and followed her. She led me to a dark room where I am to wait for the Devil. I suddenly started to panic. The room was so dark and eerie. I never really wanted to be here, but I have a job to do. I am here on official orders from…

“You don’t have to tell me, I know why you’re here,” a terrible voice said, cutting off my train of thought. I turned around and almost lost my balance. It was the Devil, in the flesh, or in fiery evil spirit, or whatever. I swallowed hard. Oh why did I sign up for this job? Oh that’s right, my tatay asked our barangay captain who asked the councilor who asked the mayor for a job for me. So now here I am, carrying out orders.

“R-r-really? You know why I’m here?” I managed to ask him. “Of course,” he said while studying me from head to foot. “Take a seat,” he said, and a Lazy Boy suddenly appeared. I sat down and was immediately relaxed. “You want her, don’t you,” he asked. “W-what?” I replied. He laughed. It was the scariest laughter I have ever heard my entire life. “If it’s sexual pleasure you want, then it’s what I will give you,” he said.

My mind was suddenly invaded by thoughts of the secretary, I mean executive assistance. I tried to brush the thoughts aside so I can finish my job. “No, don’t fight those evil thoughts,” he commanded. Damn, it was getting more and more difficult not to think about her. Her lips..mmm.. And her breasts – I want to cup them in my hands and kiss them. Then, an explosive feeling starting creeping from the tip of my toes, up my legs, my penis, six pack (yeah right), my chest, and my head. My whole body starting shaking violently, but I feel no pain. Rather, I feel pleasure. I was having the most intense orgasm, and the Devil was giving it to me. I felt like I was the male-counterpart of Amada in Nick Joaquin’s The Summer Solstice. (Okay, fine, Rica Peralejo in Tatarin.)

After I have climaxed, wet my pants, and panted for an hour, I was ready to start my business talk with the Devil. “So you know why I am here,” I said. The Devil frowned and said “didn’t I just give you what you were here for?” I was dumbfounded. (Uy, how did I learn that word - dumbfounded?) “Leave now, my work with you is done,” he ordered. This is trouble, I thought. “No, sir, that was not what I was here for,” I said, carefully. The Devil looked at me with piercing eyes. “Are you telling me I cannot read minds?” he said. “No, I’m not saying that,” I replied. I will be wetting my pants again soon, this time with urine.

He didn’t say anything. He seemed like he was concentrating on something – perhaps trying to read my mind. I decided to speak up. “I am here because your half-breed daughter sent me,” I said. He crossed his arms and said “Go on.”

I sat up straighter on my Lazy Boy, which turned into a regular office chair. The Devil was suddenly behind a big desk. “Which daughter are we talking about,” he asked. “The small wicked one,” I said, “the one who is set to conquer and rule Southeast Asia, then Asia, and eventually the world,” I continued. “She stops at Southeast Asia, I have other children to rule the other parts,” he said, “anyway, what does she want?” So the Devil can’t read thoughts, otherwise, he wouldn’t be asking me. “I can read yours,” he said. Oopps, my bad. I decided to tell him anyway what she sent me for. “She wants an organized chaos and she needs you to work your magic. She doesn’t want people to predict that she was brewing something up. She wants to make it look like she is the victim……"

TheENd.