Some people would think that men who have been recently separated would feel relieved. In the macho society, it is seldom that men is expected to feel remorse whenever leaving a relationship or commitment. They are often viewed in the light of being harsh and unfeeling being.

Maybe, because men hate to talk mushy like women do. Whenever they get together, they talk about their careers, business, travels, sports and escapades but never their feelings.

Except the get together with alcohols, which could possibly induced a man to make a confession, then would feel sorry for himself as soon as he’s sober. But too embarrass to tell when he is in his normal self.

Men are still human beings though you don’t see them cry, nevertheless they could still be affected. You’d notice that in the way they talk, deal with people or the change in his attitude and performance at work. Separated men also found themselves dealing with these:

1. Attitude-This could be positive change; but most of them bent on becoming more withdrawn or mean towards the opposite sex. Thinking that they have to get even, when they are venting it on the wrong person but have the same sex. It is seldom that men learned from their former commitments, it’s more on the other way around.

2. Emotions- They are used being taken care of or molly-cuddled. Their egos are well-fed and have ready reassurances whenever, wherever, whatever and however they wanted it to. Men may be accused of being shallow in pursuing more of physical pleasure but they also admit at the end of the day, they would still prefer the company of whom they could come home to without donning their defenses all the time. Into the arms of rest and solace.

3. Adjustments with sympathies or pities- Let’s face it; sometimes it is better to lick wounds in private than to deal with nosy people who doesn’t know how to ask questions. Sometimes unwanted sympathy and pity could even be an added insult to injury. Rather than soothing the soul needs, it can all the more confuse his already troubled mind.

4. Change in priorities-If the man is used to being a sole breadwinner, imagine how he would feel going home not seeing the reasons for all his work. Before he has to hurry home to his wife and kids but after the separation, how he would go home to an empty house?

Schedules changed, how many business travels or say the least, night outs he let passed just for the sake of spending more time with his family? How about the time allotted attending PTA meetings or helping his kids with assignments and play with them? How about the time alone with his wife?

5. Loss of companionship- After the separation some men opt to lead his life alone. Human beings by nature are sociable beings. There are only few qualified men who can assume the life of a hermit. Even priests also seek someone to talk to outside their vocations. There are five different aspects in the life of a human being. We are all aware of it, we even studied it at school but it is seldom we acknowledge it in our day-to-day lives. Man strives not only in just one aspect of his life but the whole of it. Man does not live in bread alone. He survives in the company of his fellow beings.

6. Changing views-To the brave men who went into committing themselves to a relationship, could undergone changes in the way they look at life. Sometime in his former relationship, he might have look at life differently. He may have allowed things that can be forgiven or understood or even justified situations just to keep his relationship intact. After separation, some reverted back to the usual outlook that in life; there are no gray areas, only black and white.

7. Professional life-Changes are not only within himself but also to his environment or surroundings. Especially to office environment, where the gossips usually flourish. There are some companies who uphold moral values. Companies that have discriminating rules when it comes to preserving public images even though its already outside the boundaries of work; could threaten a possible promotion to the man who just recently separated regardless if its his fault or not.

8. Dilemma of leaving his family-Walking away is not easy, even if one has already reached his decision or the end of his patience. Men leaving their wives would not find it so easy, especially if they have children. Anyway he looks at it; the victim is always his child or children. And he’ll forever be carrying the burden of that guilt. They also worry about the psychological impact of separation to their kids. If its going to affect his child in the future.

9. Pride-How would you think a man would feel if the wife walks away from him? Instead of the usual case scenario that men leaves the wife for a mistress. How about those men, who give all for the sake of preserving his commitments, only to be subjected for humiliation? The law of giving the man the right to kill his wife and her lover when he caught them in the act maybe double standard. But such kind of dent in his pride could be his own destruction too as well as to his children.

10. Principles and morals change-How could he not? There are some men born to be kind and brought-up to be gentlemen. Women from their broken relationships could push them to the edge of their patience or worst sanity. The once gentleman could become a womanizer or treat women with disdain.

Once an honest and honorable man at work could suddenly find himself doing things to the detriment of his job or career. Some men could be so enamored with his wife or girlfriend and obsessed in having her back, especially to those who could not accept the separation could act differently form his usual self. He may be cheat in his dealings to gain more money, thinking that’s the way to lure back his spouse or girlfriend; or not reporting for work to follow her around.

11. Financial change- there are men who found themselves suddenly alone could also be heavy in debts. Some women only went to men who has money and leave them alone as soon as he can no longer sustain her capriciousness. Imagine, how would it be to a man who work his way up to the ladder only to lose everything in just one snap.

12. Physical change-some men are very conscientious when it comes to the way he dress-up or project himself. But when he finds himself no one to appreciate or notices how he carries himself, he would also neglect the way he looks. The once immaculate and dashing man may let his hair grow than usual or worst his fingernails. He may also lose weight and his feelings that he won’t express would came out as lines in his foreheads or sunken cheeks.

There are still a lot of changes a separated man could go through but it’s rare that they would allow just anyone to know about it. Owe it to a lot of factors that also what made up the mentality of the macho society. But basically, it’s to preserve their image of being the stronger sex. Tears are only for crybabies, as they say.

However, one of my male close friends admitted that crying does not diminish his being a man but a sign of maturity and acceptance. It shows that he’s also a human being after all. *****