The space pirates;

Part four,

John e. Sterling

Well, well, well, we meet again.
Why are you here?
Why do I do it?

So even though we are still stuck on the laborious planet of purple known as MAROON BALLOON, THINGS are starting to happen.

For one thing Firsty found what might be an engine room containing what could be considered an engine.

And for another, they not only found the galley but accidentally worked out how to use it.

So now obviously hungover, we join them in said galley, where the Captain has just announced that he has a plan to get them off this rock.

Join us now as we sit back and enjoy the episode known as

The plan;

Although he was slumped at the big white table, First Mate Firsty McGregson was staring intensely at his Captain.

“Now, amongst all the bizarre things that happened last night,” said the Captain, “One of them was receiving a local weather report from the ships computer.”

“The ships computer?” Asked a surprised Firsty.

“Yes, the ships computer.” Replied the Captain. He looked at Firsty who was trying to keep his head off the table top.
He gave up. His head hit the hard surface with a thud, he groaned.
“Anyway, so the ships computer walks in here and tells me all about this meteor storm that is headed this way.”

Now Normally Firsty would consider this to be bad news, but at this time there were more important things to worry about.

He groaned again, but did not lift his head from the table.

“The ships computer walked in and told you this?”

“Yes”

“ I, ah, take it I was passed out at this point?”

“Yes Firsty, you were, I tried to wake you but there was no hope.”

“I’m curious Captain, what did this walking computer look like?”

Firsty had several images running through his brain.

“Well I’ll tell you Firsty, I think normally I would have been quite nervous, I mean he was huge, a huge metal man, and he spoke like this,”
The Captains voice went super deep, and sort of metallic,
”I have information for you!”
Firsty opened his eyes just in time to see the Captain waving his arms about robot fashion.

Firsty was staring again. “Okay, information, about what?”

“I already told you, the meteor shower.“ The Captain held his hands above his head and let his wiggling fingers do an impression of falling meteors.

“ Okay, then, what happened?”

“Well, he got up and left.”
Before Firsty could suggest that this may have been some kind of hallucination, the Captain stood up.

“Come on Firsty, we have lots to do before that shower hits”

Before the Captain could deliver more good news, Firsty pulled his head off the table, stood up, groaned again, then followed the Captain out of the galley.
“Big metal man eh, daft sod.” He mumbled.

Firsty followed the Captain as he strode along the glowing white corridor.

“Well, it goes like this Firsty, there is a huge and terrible meteor storm that is going to hit this planet in about nine hours.”

Through a painful brain Firsty managed, “Shouldn’t we concentrate on protecting the ship during this deadly rock storm?”

“Ha!” Replied the Captain, he pointed toward the ceiling as he walked. “That is why we feed two dogs with one bone dear Firsty.” He stopped pointing.

Firsty caught up with his shipmate, “What are you talking about Captain?”

The Captain stopped walking and turned towards Firsty. He gripped Firstys’ shoulders.
Firsty looked into those intense but tired blue eyes of his Captain, who then said, “A tow rope Firsty.”
He patted the bemused first mates shoulders as he let go. He resumed his trek.
“A tow rope?” Asked Firsty loudly.

“Yes, young Firsty, a tow rope, you see some of these deadly exploding space rocks will be to big to be subject to this planets gravitational pull, tra la! We then pick out one of these big ones, fire the tow rope, it attaches to said rock and hey plinko we are out of here, dragged into space, where we can try and jump start this blobby engine of yours.”

“Why’s it mine?” Grumbled Firsty.

“Because you’re the engineer.” The Captain said quickly.
“And so,” He continued, “I think this space tow rope should be about a mile long, with a big grappling hook at the end, and most importantly a springy thing somewhere in it, I don’t want any nasty jerks or things breaking off the ship.”

Firsty shook his head as he walked, he scratched at his beard then said
“Okay Captain what your proposing is that during this deadly meteor storm we attach ourselves to one of the more bigger deadlier rocks and hope to kick start an engine which as I have already explained is like nothing I have ever seen before, using a Tow rope which I am supposed to manufacture even though you know full well that I know fuck all about where anything is stowed let alone a mile long space tow rope,”

“Don’t forget the springy part,” Interrupted the Captain.

‘Grrrr,’ Thought Firsty.

“Apart from the fact you’re intending to drag an engineless ship with no deflector shields into a galactic space storm, have you forgotten about the Tags, I mean they’re probably up there looking for us as we speak, I mean imagine their surprise after all that seeking and trying to destroy, when we just turn up in their laps totally defenseless and being dragged by a meteor to boot, and that’s if we aren’t destroyed long before that by said meteors.”

“Protests duly noted my bearded mate, but you forget who exactly will be piloting us during this bold venture, me.”

He pointed to himself, then his hand did an impression of the ship leaving the planet, including some cool evasive maneuvers.

Firsty looked at the ship/hand half expecting it to explode.

“As for your other concerns, well I suggest that we find the remaining droids strap them to the side of the ship with as much heavy firepower as we can muster, and order them to destroy any rocks that get too close to us, and as great plans go you see, they can also take care of any hostiles out there, trust me Firsty by then we’ll have that engine up and running, and probably weapons and deflectors online too, pash they’ll be lucky if we don’t blow them away before we zoom out of this sector. I feel optimistic Firsty.”

Firsty shook his head. ”Heavy fire power, I have to find that as well I suppose, then we’re intending to work out how to use the unknown and currently unworking weapons system.”

Firsty stopped. He grabbed the Captain by the arm.
“Captain, where are you going?”

“Well, I really don’t know, I was just doing a bit of corridor walking while I explained the plan.”

The two men stared at each other for a few seconds.

Why couldn’t he have explained the plan in the galley, we could have had breakfast and some bloody marys.

“Captain,” Firsty pointed back in the direction they had come from, “The bridge is that way”

The Captain looked in both directions, then said, “Thanks Firsty,” He set off, “I’ll meet you there, you find that rope, and sort out those bastard robots.” He said with a wave

Firsty watched him as he set off.
‘A space tow rope, I mean, silly fucker’

He then set off himself in search of a very long piece of rope.

And a big grappling hook.

And some heavy fire power.

And a springy thing.

ZWOW! WILL HE FIND THESE FINGS,?

I AM NOT GOING TO SAY A THING, EXCEPT CONTROL MY RUMBLING BITS, AND SAY

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR WHAT MIGHT THE GREATEST EPISODE SO FAR;

LEAVING MAROON BALLOON……