THE SPACE PIRATES.

AND WE’RE BACK, SITE REBUILDING HUH?
OKAY SO WHERE WERE WE?
WELL I KNOW THAT THE UNINSPIRING SPACE PIRATES ARE STILL STUCK ON THE BORING PLANET OF PURPLENESS KNOWN AS MAROON BALOON, OR MAYBE EVEN MALLOON BAROON, WHO KNOWS.
ANY OLD ROAD UP, FIRST MATE FIRSTY MCGREGON HAD JUST RETURNED FROM THE ENGINE ROOM WITH SOME DOWNBEAT NEWS FOR THE TEMPORARILY UPBEAT CAPTAIN.
IT WASN’T A NORMAL ENGINE WITH CRANKSHAFTS AND PISTONS AND STUFF, NO, IT WAS SOME KIND OF PULSATING BLUE BLOB, WHICH AFTER MUCH QUESTIONING FROM HIS CAPTAIN WAS DEEMED UNFIXABLE, BECAUSE BASICALLY YOU CAN’T FIX BLUE BLOBBY ENERGY THINGS WITH SCREWDRIVERS, HAMMERS AND STUFF.
SO STILL STUCK THEY ARE.
NOW NORMALLY WHEN THE CAPTAIN WOULD HOLD COURT IN THE GALLEY, WHERE EVEN IF A PLAN COULD NOT BE HATCHED AT LEAST THERE WAS SCRAN AND RUM,(OR ALE).
BUT OF COURSE THIS IS THE GALLEY OF THE PERPLEXING TARA CANDY, THE SUPER COMPLEX PLATINUM SPACESHIP, STOLEN WITH NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL.
AND SO LETS JOIN OUR RATHER SMELLY BUCCANEERS AS THEY INSTINCTIVELY SIT IN THE SHIPS GALLEY.
THEY BOTH SAT AT A SHINY SILVER TABLE WITH THEIR HEADS IN THEIR HANDS.
FIRSTY REITERATED; “THERE WAS NUFFING I COULD DO CAPTAIN.”

“WHERE DID THESE STOOLS COME FROM FIRSTY?, I DON’T REMEMBER THEM BEING HERE BEFORE.”

“HOW DO WE KNOW THIS EVEN IS A GALLEY CAPTAIN?”

“A THING CALLED CAPTAINS INSTINCT FIRSTY.”

Firsty looked around the so called galley. Apart from the plain metallic table and recently materialized stools the room was just like any other, plain and metallic. No pots, no pans, not even a microwave, and mostly, no food at all. If it was a galley, it was definitely a strange one. He pulled his face back with his fingers.”Grrr!, remember that time we were on vibros five?”
”No I don’t.” replied the captain, “And this is no time for nostalgic trips back in time, we have to get off this poxy purple planet, and you apparently cannot fix the engine.”
“But that’s just it captain, vibros was entirely powered by the core of the planet, the core being a pulsating blobby thing“
Firsty smiled. “and your point is.”
Firsty stopped smiling. “I think the blobby fing we have in the engine room is just like the core stuff on vibros, maybe they harnessed it or reproduced it somehow, or somefing.”
“Again Firsty,” said the incredulous Captain, “ How does that help us in our present predicament?”
‘Well. “Firsty put his hands on the shiny table as if he was about to pray. ”While we were on that planet, and no I don’t remember why we were there either, but anyway there was some kind of power problem, everyone was running around saying that the blob core fing was sick.” He smiled again.
“Okay Firsty, despite the fear of becoming boring, I have to ask, how does that help us?”
“It doesn’t” he replied. The Captain allowed his head to hit the hard table top. He pulled himself back up breathing in through his gritted teeth, then said, “I think, for now, that we should concentrate on finding some kind of nourishment, and since we have finished off our personal supplies of rum,”
They eyed each other suspiciously. ”Maybe a drink of something too.”
“Aye Captain, I am so in need of a tot I can almost see a nice bottle of rum sitting in front of me.” There was a slight vibration in the room, then a blue orb buzzing with energy appeared in the middle of the table. Both men jumped out of their stools and backed away from the table. ”What is it Captain?”
“I don’t know, maybe it’s one of your blobby friends come to visit you.” But before Firsty could say anything the blue energy orb dissipated, and there sitting in the middle of the table was a nice big bottle of space rum. Afraid to move for a couple of seconds, the beleaguered pirates just stared at the bottle. “Firsty, pick it up, see if it’s real.”
‘Its always me that has to do this kind of fing‘, Firsty thought to himself. ‘Fearless Captain and everyfing, but I‘ll show him.‘ Firsty lunged forward and swiped the rum before it decided to disappear or blow up. “Nice one first Mate, well, is it real?” Continuing his brashness and locking his gaze at the Captain Firsty pulled out the cork stopper with his teeth.
‘Pop.’ Captain Sterling gasped, and then gasped again as Firsty took a huge swig. After waiting for a few moments to make sure the bearded pirate didn’t disappear or blow up, he requested the bottle. Wiping rum from his beard he handed it over.
“Aaaaah! Yes thank the space lords.” Exclaimed the happy captain.
Very soon the space rum was gone. They looked at each other. ’Okay, I’m going to try something.” The Captain looked around the room as if chasing an invisible butterfly. ”Oh galley, can you please materialize some nice hot madras, pilau rice, and a couple of bottles of ice cold muscadet.”
“get some chapattis too Captain.”
“Good idea, and some chapattis.”
“Get ten.”
“Ten please.”
They stared at the table, nothing happened.
“I don’t fink it’s a case of being polite and talking to it like it’s a ghost captain, it’s more of a finking about it and visualizing it and that.”
“Hmm, I’ll try that then.” This time he closed his eyes and touched his fingers to temples. Sure enough several blue orbs of various sizes appeared, then there it was, the curry, the wine, the chapattis, all ten of them, a feast.
The ravenous pirates dove in and gorged, maybe they should have thought of silverware too, but for now they were happy.
So they did not starve, and they did not get sober, as of course many more bottles of space rum and barrels of space ale were thought of and materialized.

AND HERE WE LEAVE THE SOZZLED PAIR NOW. I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD, BUT TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR AN EXCITING EPISODE CALLED, ’THE HANGOVER’ OR MAYBE ’LEAVING MARROON BALLOON.’ EITHER WAY IT’S GOING TO BE MONUMENTALLY BANAL, SO SEE YOU THEN, BYE.
SO FIRSTY HAS A BEARD HUH! BIT OF CHARACTER DESCRIPTION FOR A CHANGE, WOW.